'The Moralizer' - a highly anti seductive trait.
In 'The Art of Seduction', Robert Greene identifies the trait of 'The Moralizer' as:
'The Character of the moralizer is rigid. These are people who follow fixed ideas and try to make you bend to their standards. They want to change you, to make you a better person, so they endlessly criticize and judge.'
Herein lies the problem, it is human nature for us to get pleasure from having our tastes and standards validated by others. We want other people to believe what believe. However, when this translates into you trying to make other people like what you like, it becomes highly anti-seductive.
The mistakes I have personally made here include trying to get others to listen to the music I like, watch the same TV shows, wear similar clothing, support the same sports team, the list goes on and on.
You have to remember that every single person in the world is like an island, they are cut off and have all sorts of different beliefs, values and morals that they have built up during their life. Trying to change them will stir up resistance. There is nothing more annoying than having your individuality ignored, which is precisely what is happening when someone is trying to imprint their standards on you.
The solution lies in entering someone's spirit. Instead of trying to tell that what they should watch and listen to, experience what they like. This gives you a much better understanding of the person, allowing you to see why they enjoy what they do. Additionally, this enables you to give much more tailored gifts, which will be received with a much higher appreciation, as it seems from the heart.
Takeaway #1 - Stop trying to stamp all your morals,beliefs, values and tastes on people.
Takeaway #2 - Enter their spirit and discover how they think.
The subtle way to influence others.
Alexander Greene continues to write a fantastic blog on 'The Art of Seduction' by Robert Greene.
Gaining power through outward force and coercion is frowned upon in today's world, therefore whoever masters the arts of indirect influence will gain control.
'The Art of Seduction' is not just about love, it details any kind of social influence, and even 'How To Sell Anything To The Masses'.
For Alexander's Blog, Follow The Link Below:
I am forever saying to myself 'Nah do it later, or do it tomorrow, leave it for now.'
Even when I am making progress towards my goal, this is a dangerous mentality, because I could be making much quicker progress.
With regards to caution, consider:
'Our biggest weakness, is being too cautious, losing heart and doubting ourselves.' - War Strategy 3 - Do Not Lose Your Presence of Mind - 33 Strategies of War - Robert Greene.
The remedy for this lies in the 'Hyperaggressive Tactic' as Greene states. This involves pushing forward with an intensification of confidence. This serves as a counterbalance to our natural tendency to feel caution.
Additionally, the feeling of being extremely cautious, and procrastinating stems from being terrified of making a mistake, thinking that one setback will make you give up. The hanging back is not out of patience, but out of fear.
Lets take a moment to remember the famous quote on fear from Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
'Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror, which paralyses needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.'
We need to fear the thinking of retreat, that voice that says 'Nahh do it later, leave it for now.' Is your mind your biggest ally? or your biggest enemy?
Takeaway #1 - Stop paralysing yourself into retreat, and start advancing quicker.
Takeaway #2 - Toughen your mind by not doubting yourself, the worst that will happen is that you will learn.
For more information on War Strategy 3 - Do Not Lose Your Presence of Mind, Click The Book Cover Below.
The difficulty of enhancing or maintaining a relationship with someone you love.
We have all been there. In a situation where we become extremely fond of someone, and we want to let me them know about it, all the time.
There in lies the problem - all the time.
“Suffocators fall in love with you before you are even half aware of their existence. The trait is deceptive – you might think they have found you overwhelming – but the fact they suffer from an inner void, a deep well of need that cannot be filled.” - The Art of Seduction - Robert Greene
The truth is, telling someone you love them all the time unconsciously pushes them away. This is needy, and assumes the suffocator type. It is a rule of human nature that people look up to others who treat them badly (no, this doesn't mean violence, it means displaying mixed signals with how you feel about your partner) and look down on people who praise them.
If you are addicted to your partner, you must always appear that other people find you attractive, playing the Coquette (Art of Seduction), this will arouse the insecurity of your partner who will react by wanting to keep you more, which is obviously what you want as your addicted to them.
Takeaway #1 - Suffocating someone by telling them you love too much, actually pushes them away.
Takeaway #2 - Sending mixed signals and appearing wanted by others will make your partner desperate to keep you.
Unfortunately, I suffered in this area a couple of times, until I read the Art of Seduction and realized the nature of humans. So please, learn from my mistakes (Why I created The Site!)
How to manage an implementation of change in management.
In a managerial position, especially a new managerial position, you will be assessed on what change you can bring to the team to improve performance. However, the problem lies in human nature - rigidity. We prefer what is familiar to us, as it gives us a sense of comfort.
'People do not advertise their rigidity. You will only trip up against it if you try to introduce a new idea or procedure. Some in the group - the hyper-rigid - will become irritable, even panicky at the thought of any kind of change. If you press your case with logic and reason, you will tend to make them even more defensive and resistant. If you are an adventurous, open-minded type, your very spirit will prove disruptive and upsetting. If you are not aware of the dangers of butting up against this fear of the new, you will create all sorts of hidden enemies, who will resort to anything to conserve the old.' - 'Mastery' By Robert Greene (Click Book Cover Below)
The solution lies to conserving the current order when you first assume the management position, to not arouse any suspicion or create early enemies within your subordinates. From this position, introduce subtle differences, or small changes, which can begin to install confidence within your team of your abilities. Only from a platform like this, can you avoid the backstabbing of employees fearing change, and also keep your bosses at bay, as they will be assessing what change you have implemented to improve performance.
The less taxes you pay, the more money you keep.
The problem with earned income from employment is tax starts at 20%, and this percentage increases the higher you earn.
This is not fair from the government. You earn a promotion, take on extra responsibility and stress, and your reward is to be charged even more taxes.
Solution - Passive/Portfolio income.
The taxes paid on Passive/Portfolio income are a maximum of 20%, therefore you keep more, the government take less.
'The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now.' - Chinese Proverb.
Start investing today, and your future will be much brighter.
Please note, investing can be risky, you could lose all the money you put in.
An example of how timidity gives people the opportunity to exploit.
Recently at work, we sat down on break about to enjoy something to eat. One of my colleagues Robert eyed something tasty from the vending machine, but didn't quite have enough money to buy it. Turning around to the rest of the group, he asks 'Has anyone got £0.50 I can borrow?'
'Yep, I have' John responds.
Robert then replies with 'What about £1?
'If you want, yes' said John.
'Actually, how about £5?'
'I haven't got £5!' proclaimed John.
Robert just settled for the £1.
"Everything depends on perception, and once you are seen as the kind of person who quickly goes on the defensive, who is willing to negotiate and be amenable, you will be pushed around without mercy."
- Robert Greene, The 48 Laws of Power
Understand - By backing down and being amenable, John brought out the lion in Robert. John was the only one out of the group to be kind enough to offer money, this made he become the hesitant prey.
Takeaway #1 - When you give confidence to people that they can ask you for something, they will keep asking you, and will likely demand more and more each time.
Takeaway #2 - People will sense your lack of self-respect, therefore they will feel justified in mistreating you.
To be clear, I am not saying to never be kind and helpful. However, you need to have clarity on the potential consequences.
To download a free sample of The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, click the book cover below.
We all love playing games. But most games will not educate you about the real world. Most games wont help you get better at things that matter. Until I discovered 'Cashflow Classic' By Rich Dad.
This game teaches you how to manage your cash flow better, and gives you opportunities for investments to increase your income.
Here is the link: Cashflow Classic
The aim of the game is increase you passive income from assets to the point where it covers your expenses - This is the goal of real life too!
Comment below with how long it took you! My best is 10 Minutes 24 Seconds.
A quick lesson in how I failed to understand why a new car would be a liability, and the impact it would have on my cash flow, therefore asset buying capability.
A Liability - Not An Asset
Back in April 2015, My old banger of a car broke down twice within a few weeks. In the year leading up to this, I had started saving some money towards a new car anyway, but once the breakdowns happened, emotions got the better of me.
'I'l go buy a new car, I've worked hard to save up and it will cost me a lot less in repairs', I said to myself. So I went ahead.
Now I had a new car, I thought what an asset it was. It was worth far more than my old one, and was going to be much more reliable - no more repair costs.
Some time after, I picked up 'Rich Dad Poor Dad', By Robert Kiyosaki. The penny dropped.
Rule Number #1 - An asset puts money into your pocket. A liability takes money out of your pocket.
My new car was now my biggest liability. Harsh lesson....learnt.
Impact On Cash Flow
One saving grace was the extra money I thought I would have generally, as I wouldn't be constantly paying for repairs. True. But.....
So my new car was now costing me an extra £244 a month.
Takeaway #1 - A new car, house, or whatever, is not an asset, its a liability because its taking money OUT of your pocket.
Takeaway #2 - The car depreciated significantly when I drove it off the forecourt from the dealership. This must be taken into account.
Takeaway #3 - Instead, buy assets to build up enough passive income to then pay for the new car, therefore it doesn't affect your cash flow.
To download a free sample of 'Rich Dad Poor Dad' By Robert Kiyosaki, click the cover below.